What motivates you? I had that question asked to me a couple times over the last few days, and it’s really eaten at me. My kids should motivate me, but when I get super depressed, they’re not motivation enough. I think I’ve learned that true motivation has to come from within. Josh has been working out a lot lately, and I’ve not been super supportive. It’s probably a good thing his motivation is internal because I’ve really been slacking on the external. He is a great example of internal motivating keeping you going because if all you’re relying on is a cheerleader, well, there are times when that cheerleader is going to let you down.
And I think that’s been my problem for a long time now. I rely on external motivation to continue doing something when all I really need is the inner cheerleader in me to keep going at it. I’m so afraid of doing something wrong though, or being inappropriate, or sticking my foot in my mouth, or any other numerous ways I can look like an idiot that I can’t be my own cheerleader. Now that I’ve discovered that was what was holding me back, I’ve become determined to overcome it. I can’t really live if all I’m surrounded by is fear of making a move. So I’ve started moving. Slowly. Carefully, like a jungle cat hunting for it’s prey. I test the environment outside of my comfort zone for a little bit and then I scurry right back inside it. But, I’m staying out there a little longer each time.
I’ve made the goal to become more sociable and to worry less about how people perceive me. I’m working on smiling more, and being attempting to strike up a conversation with someone on occasion. I’ve gotten in contact with friends I’ve been avoiding for months and made lunch dates with them. And you know what? I feel better about myself. I like the me who has friends to talk to. I like the me that leaves the house for lunch dates. I’m taking it oh so slow, but hey, at least I’m moving in the right direction, right?
Just because I love having an excuse for showing these faces off, here are some examples of people who motivate me. These are just some pics of me with my younger kids over the weekend. When I’m doing well, how can these adorable faces NOT be motivation enough to stay strong? They’re definitely motivation now, but when things get tough, I’ve got to find the strength from within. As do we all.